Oil Hits $90, Hormuz Is Closed, and Your Portfolio Is Having a Worse Week Than Iran's Navy

Let's just say it: this was not a week for the 'stonks only go up' crowd. Oil cracked $90 per barrel — up roughly 36% in a single week — after Israel torched Tehran's fuel storage complexes and insurance carriers quietly decided, yeah, we're not covering ships through the Strait of Hormuz anymore. TheChartGuys flagged the closure as a major structural headwind for equities, and they weren't wrong — IWM led the pain parade, because surging energy costs hit small caps like a freight train with no brakes and no insurance (see above).

Bloomberg Podcasts dominated the YouTube sentiment conversation all week, covering everything from Trump's press conference claiming the U.S. destroyed 44 Iranian naval vessels in nine days, to analysts calling the whole operation a 'flex' with murky long-term strategy. Republicans are reportedly nervous. Oil analysts are throwing out $150–$200 per barrel scenarios. Meanwhile, r/SecurityAnalysis was over here calmly discussing SaaS business models and Constellation Software, which honestly feels like reading a book club newsletter during a thunderstorm.

The KOSPI dropped nearly 20% before bouncing — a reminder that when Hormuz sneezes, emerging markets catch pneumonia. If $90 oil is 'Day 9,' nobody wants to see the season finale.