Hormuz Is Closed, Oil Is at $93, and Your Portfolio Is About to Have a Very Bad Monday
U.S.-Iran conflict escalates over the weekend as Hormuz closure threats, oil at $93, and a tech selloff make for one genuinely terrifying market setup
Ticker Ratings
| Ticker | Rating | Entry Price | Current | $ Gain | % Gain |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| BTC Grayscale Bitcoin Mini Trust ETF | sell | $60632.00 | — | — | — |
| USO United States Oil Fund, LP | buy | $133.02 | — | — | — |
| GLD SPDR GOLD TRUST | buy | $396.24 | — | — | — |
| IAU ISHARES GOLD TRUST | buy | $81.22 | — | — | — |
| QQQ INVESCO QQQ TRUST, SERIES 1 | sell | $700.30 | — | — | — |
| SPY SPDR S&P 500 ETF TRUST | sell | $737.55 | — | — | — |
| GRND Grindr Inc. | hold | $10.89 | — | — | — |
Let's set the scene: Iranian ballistic missiles and drones targeted Bahrain and Kuwait over the weekend, U.S. Central Command struck Iranian coastal radar sites in retaliation, and Iran's Revolutionary Guards are now threatening to completely close the Strait of Hormuz — the chokepoint through which roughly 20% of global oil supply flows daily. Brent crude is already sitting at $93 a barrel, and OPEC output just dropped to its lowest level in at least 37 years, down 1.22 million barrels per day. Cool, totally fine.
Social sentiment across YouTube, Reddit, and X is in full catastrophe-forecast mode. A Jeremiah Babe video titled 'WE ARE PAST THE POINT OF NO RETURN' is racking up engagement, pointing to the Dow's 700-point drop and Nasdaq's 1,121-point plunge on June 5th as the opening act. Meanwhile, Bloomberg Intelligence's Mike McGlone is calling Bitcoin's slide below $60,000 the beginning of a broader 'purge' of speculative assets — and Michael Saylor reportedly selling $BTC after swearing he never would is the kind of plot twist that breaks crypto Twitter.
Treasury Secretary Bessent says the U.S. has 'plenty' of funds for an Iran war, Saudi Aramco's CEO just bailed on a major energy conference, and the UK's Starmer called an emergency economic meeting. Every single macro domino is wobbling at once — and Monday's open is going to be must-watch television whether you want it to be or not.